Butterfly
by d'Anima
Summary: 17 - Tangent. In which Rukia tries to lecture Ichigo with something that may or may not be a bucket, with more than a few interruptions along the way.
1. Butterfly

**Drabble (100 words)**

Spoilers: Slight, slight, slight as in bacteria-size for episode 49

- 

Butterfly

A glitter of white passes her eye, and Rukia stops and turns. A single white butterfly flits past her, beating its tiny white wings against the wind. It fails and is pushed backwards, back against the shimmering strands of a spider web.

As she watches, the spider advances quickly, widening its gaping jaws. Unblinking, she tentatively lifts a finger, but hesitates.

"Oi, Rukia!" Ichigo calls over his shoulder.

Rukia glances up, and drops her hand back by her side. She moves away from the web and quickens her pace to match Ichigo's.

_Sometimes, we need to let the butterfly die._


	2. Different

Okay, so I've decided to turn this into a collection, an insight into Rukia's thoughts. Any prompts or ideas would be greatly appreciated. Don't forget to review! You might get a cookie.

**Drabble (100 words)**

Spoilers: None

Takes place after the bird incident.

Different 

-

Her mind drifts to the orange haired boy she had come to know. He was strong, but only because life had made him that way. Compared to the darker haired people around him, he was different.

Did it matter?

It wasn't of importance, but his hair colour had caused him so much pain. So much sorrow, for something so little. Why?

Did he think of when he was younger, when he was bullied and had no-one to protect him?

No, she decides. His hair colour was nothing to do with her. But she would defend him, if he needed it.


	3. Flowers

**Drabble**

Spoilers: Possible for episode 8-9.

Prompt: Flowers

-

They stand together. He holds the umbrella, she is silent. In front of them stands a lonely headstone, its edges worn.

_Strange, that it can be lonely when surrounded by others. _

A garland of white lilies, their petals limp with the rain, droops against the weathered stone. Rukia watches, subdued, as it slips to the ground and is washed away.

Their eyes meet, his distant, hers worried and concerned and comforting. Without a word he turns to walk away.

In the morning, he returns with the sun. A garland of fresh white lilies rests on the grave. And he smiles.

-

Review, my darlings! You shall make my day! It will stop be from becoming depressed! And you all know you don't want to jeopardise my mental wellbeing. :D


	4. Red

**Ramble**

Spoilers: Episode 49 (but not enormously)

Prompt: Red

-

This time it's different.

_She grips the hilt of Sode no Shirayuki with shaking hands. Blood and rainwater soak her clothes and hair. _

_Before her lies a man. Blood, not only his, spreads out in a pool around him. His breathing is ragged and he gazes at her with pained eyes. _

_Rukia's eyes are pained too. She rests her hand on the man's cheek, letting her tears drop on to his skin and mingle with the splattered blood. _

"_Forgive me," she whispers, as she thrusts her sword deep into his heart. A shudder runs through him and he relaxes. A strangled cry escapes her lips. She passes her fingers lightly over his eyelids, and then presses a kiss to his forehead. _

_An eternity passes. The rain falls heavily now, and Rukia finds it hard to breathe. Suddenly she lurches to her feet and screams into the darkness. There is no answer but for the echo of her own voice amongst the trees. _

_The stench of blood fills her head, and she swipes at her clothing in a desperate attempt to rid herself of the glaring red stains. _

_Her energy leaves her, and she drops back to her knees beside Kaien's body, her shoulders wracked with sobs. She lifts her head to the violent sky, and the rain washes over her. But still, the blood remains. _

She wakes up. But all she can see is an angry red glare.


	5. Forever

**Ramble**

Spoilers: None

Prompt: Forever

-

Kuchiki Rukia is pale. Her eyes are closed, her hair is perfect.

She is dead.

Ichigo stands behind Byakuya, a mere two feet from the coffin. He is numb. Rukia's brother is numb also, but he does not show it. He stands, unmoving, unblinking, staring at the small corpse. That's all it is. It is no part of the sister he once knew.

Ichigo is silent, but his mind is racing. A Shinigami, _dead. _His Shinigami. In living - could it be called that? - she was the epitome of death. The vindictiveness of immortality grips his heart like a vice. She was an icon, one to outlast him, to outlive him in every sense. She was to go on forever. But forever had a habit of backfiring.

All her magic, all her reiatsu, was nothing against death. She was only as immortal as he was. In bitterness, he realises something. She _will_ go on forever, but she will be forever dead. He will go on too. But he will be alone.

Renji is beside him, his eyes focused on the girl in front of him. He smoothes her white kimono with a trembling hand. He murmurs quietly, only for Ichigo's ears, "she isn't suffering anymore. Let her go."

Ichigo nods slowly. His mind registers that he will need to explain to Kon. But not now. Now is his time with Rukia.

He wants to see her one last time. He wants to complain about his father, to tell her of Yuzu's good grades, to assure her Karin is doing fine. He wants to watch her pretend to be an ordinary teenager, to watch her marvel at things like juice boxes and children's TV shows. He wants to yell at her and insult her drawings. He wants to destroy Hollows for her. He wants to protect her. But death cannot be protected against. It's ironic though, that death itself cannot be protected from death. He wants to believe in everything that is good. He wants to believe in love.

But he can't. Right now, he knows he will not see her again. Maybe one day, but not now. Right now, he knows he will go on forever, without her. He just doesn't want to face tomorrow.

Rukia has died.

And the world shudders a little and keeps on spinning.


	6. Tomorrow

**Babble**

Spoilers: Up to episode 53ish…

For Astarael00. The next one will be up soon. )

Prompt: Tomorrow

-

The moon glows dimly, struggling to pierce through the thick cloud. A single ray filters through the window of the Shrine of Penitence, illuminating the unmoving form of Kuchiki Rukia.

She is silent, but her mind cries and is confused.

_I should be scared._

She's not though. She wants to be. She wants to weep and feel sorry for herself and be sad. But she can't allow herself to be at that level. Whatever tomorrow may bring, she will go through it like a true Kuchiki.

_Nii-sama…_

The betrayal hurts. Each time her mind turns to him, one small piece of her heart is gripped by darkness.

But tonight, while the moon is awake, she can live. She reaches a hand to the air, grasps a fistful of the silver light. She wants to escape, to be cocooned by it and protected and loved. She wants the moonlight to wrap around her in an embrace and lift her away from Sereitei and Byakuya and the execution.

She closes her eyes and lies still again. In a few hours, she will be at the mercy of Soukyoku. Tonight, she can rest. Tomorrow, she will be ready to die.

And she smiles.


	7. Rain I

**Ficlet**

Spoilers: A few for episode 49 and 8. Or was it 9? Meh.

Don't worry Astarael00, Until Dawn will be up after this.

Rain I

-

Rukia is sitting on the cold concrete wall outside the Kurosaki house. It's starting to rain. Not much, but the first droplets are falling. She tilts her face to the sky and closes her eyes.

_Which one dies today?_

She can feel the drops on her eyelids. Byakuya had once told her that every time it rained someone was dying, and each raindrop was a soul, falling from Soul Society to visit Earth and the dying human.

In her mind, he was right. Ichigo's mother had died on a rainy day. So had Kaien-dono. Her eyes prickle with tears at the thought of her late fukutaichou. She dislikes what the rain brings, but at the same time it is a comfort. It is part of her.

She doesn't open her eyes as Ichigo approaches and sits beside her. "You'll catch a cold if you stay out here."

Rukia nods, and finally opens her eyes, slowly, allowing them to adjust to the light. "It's raining," she says softly.

"Yeah."

Her mind shifts back to the now heavily falling rain. Ichigo's words before he left Soul Society ring in her ears.

_Thanks to you, it seems the rain will finally stop._

Again, her eyes burn with suppressed tears. She couldn't stop it. She couldn't stop the dying.

Ichigo glances at her when she chokes back a sob. "Come on," he offers her his hand. "Come inside."

She looks up, smiles, and takes his hand.

Maybe she couldn't stop the rain, but at least together they had a chance.


	8. Happy

_Author's Note: This is the second of my stories that I've updated tonight. :3 I'm doing well. Anyway, read and review, and all thanks goes to Drop Dead Fred and his crazy lines. This is set sometime after they first met Grimmjow, but before Ichigo buggers off to the Vaizard. _

_-_

"You're going to get fat."

Ichigo waved Rukia's comment off as he stuffed another pancake into his mouth. He glanced back at her though, out the corner of his eye, trying to decide if she was walking differently, or wincing, or _anything._

"Ichi-nii!" Yuzu waggled her wooden spoon at him. "Stop eating those! Rukia-chan and I worked so hard on them, and there'll be none left for anyone else!"

"Whatever." He turned away, but not before Rukia caught him staring.

She stomped over to him, frying pan still in hand, and glowered at him. "Idiot!" She waved the pan threateningly. "Stop moping! You think I don't know what's bothering you?"

He brushed her aside. "You don't, so just leave it."

"I do, and I _won't!_" She spun him back round to face her.

Yuzu sighed. So much for a nice Sunday morning.

"You need to get this into your thick, Neanderthal head that it _doesn't matter!_ What's done is done, there's no point worrying about it. Got it?"

"But you –"

"I'm fine. I look fine, I am fine, Inoue did a good job. So why are you still acting like little kid who scraped his knee? You have no right to feel sorry for yourself, and I won't let you. So –"

"Rukia, listen!"

"No, _you_ listen, Ichigo. Or have you forgotten what I told you already? If you're upset about this, do something about it, instead of sulking! I know you're not the sort of person to let this affect you so much, so prove that I'm correct!"

Her voice softened. "I just think…I just think you should be happy. Because when you're not happy, no-one else is, and I don't like not being happy." She frowned again. "So why don't you get happy!" And she promptly smacked him in the head with the frying pan.

"What the – _fuck, _you psychotic woman, that's hot!"

Rukia grinned, and pressed a hand to her mouth to cover the giggles. Ichigo frowned, but caught sight of her, and before he knew it he was grinning too.

He rubbed his head, marvelling at the sizable lump already appearing. "Thanks, Rukia." He said softly. "I guess I needed that."

"Of course you did." Rukia turned back to her pancakes, only realising then that Yuzu was still in the room. She busied herself with pouring in the mixture.

"But you're still not having any more pancakes. I can't be known for having a fat Shinigami now, can I? It'd ruin my reputation."


	9. Disaster

_**Words: **__340_

_**Author's Note: **__Hah. Thanks to my sister playing the song "Your Guardian Angel" by _Red Jumpsuit Apparatus, _I've decided that's a good song for the SS Arc. Anyway, this is _very _rough. I'm not entirely pleased with it, and will most likely edit it a lot in a while. But for now I just want to get it posted. Review! _

-

To spirits, she is their saviour. All they see is the carefully crafted exterior; impassive, shining, flawless. She is their star, their navigation to a better world.

But she is no star. She's a disaster. She knows that much, at least, even if no-one else does. She may be derived from a star, in the same way the word is, but she is no more holy than a bleeding cross in the arms of the devil.

Someone once said that salvation is the same as damnation. Existing purely to salvage the remains of human death, how can one who is given that task be the cause of so much pain?

_What sort of protector does that make me?_

A disaster is known, to most people, as an occurrence causing widespread destruction and distress. To Rukia, a disaster is more commonly known as _herself._

If she hadn't killed Kaien, the 13th Division would still have a fukutaichou, and the Shiba family would still have a brother. If she hadn't been sentenced to execution, the countless numbers of soldiers fighting Aizen wouldn't have died.

If she had stayed in Soul Society, Ichigo wouldn't have been involved with any of this.

_If, if, if._

So many uncertainties. And she knew if you wanted to rid yourself of those uncertainties that you didn't allow them to happen in the first place.

The prevention, not the cure.

Forget about stopping the disaster when it happens. Stop it _before _it happens. Get rid of the beginnings of it, give it no chance to take hold, to cause so many to suffer.

Get rid of her at the start.

Soukyoku was meant to end it. To end the pain, the torment, her life. It was meant to atone for the crimes she had committed.

But she is still here, still living and breathing and watching others dying. She has a chance to make amends herself.

_Take that chance. Take it and don't turn back. _

Learn from one disaster, so you're ready for when the next one happens.


	10. Clouded

_**Clouded**_

_**Words: **__913_

_**Rating: **__PG? Minor language_

_**Spoilers: **__Er, I suppose only very vaguely for the SS/Arrancar arcs. Mainly just that Aizen is evil. Heh. _

_**Author's Note: **__Woo, hopefully I'm finally getting back into the swing of writing. This is a combination of two story ideas, but I figured I may as well stick them together._

_-_

Clouds slowed everything down, Rukia had decided. They hung in the sky, in much the same way that a brick couldn't, pressing down on the shadows of houses and silent people. It was as if all the people in the world were too afraid to make a noise, for fear of disturbing the suppressive quiet.

She yawned slightly, leaned her arms on the windowsill and rested her head upon them, peering out at the night. The pitiless darkness offered no comfort, so she closed her eyes and settled her forehead against the cool glass of the window.

Months of endless searching for Aizen and his followers was beginning to take its toll. Her body was finding it difficult to keep up with the training she was putting it through, and the sickening feeling in her gut that told her she should soon be returning to Soul Society had returned.

'_I can't take much more of this.' _She opened her eyes, inhaling sharply as a chill crept through her body. The misted glass window caught her eye, and she blinked at the imprint her forehead had left there.

Slowly, carefully, she raised a finger and began to trace the outline of a heart. It was crude, it was childish, but she smiled all the same.

The creak of the door caused her to start, and she twisted her head to glance at Ichigo as he paused in the doorway. He frowned. "What are you doing in here? Yuzu and Karin will be wondering where you are."

"So?" She turned back to face the darkness. "It was quiet in here. _Was._"

"That's not my problem." He dropped onto his chair and swung it gently to face her. "You should be sleeping, anyway. It's late."

"I know." She replied quietly. "I'm trying to think. So if you wouldn't mind, please leave."

He snorted and raised an eyebrow. "This is _my _room, remember? _You _leave." But she made no attempt to get up.

Ichigo felt the tension rise between them. "Oi, Rukia. What's wrong with you? You've been cranky lately."

"I'm fine."

"No you're not."

"Go away. I'm busy."

"Don't look very busy to me."

"Ichigo!" She threw a warning glance over her shoulder. "Just _leave_ it! I'm not in the mood for your antics."

One glance was all it took for Ichigo to catch a glimpse of the torn look in her eyes. He slipped quietly onto the bed next to her. "Just tell me, Rukia. What's your problem, anyway?"

Her head snapped round. "What's my _problem?_" She hissed. "_You _are my problem! Leave me alone to my thoughts!"

"You idiot, of course I'm not gonna do that." He gripped her arms. "This is one time where you can't fake it hard enough to make it look like you're okay. There's too much shit that you're not talking to anyone about. You've been there for me; at least let me listen."

"Just leave me _alone!_" She pushed him back roughly. "I have too much to focus on right now without _you_ getting in the way! We're not getting any closer to Aizen, I'm sick and tired of this endless training, and I don't know what to _do _right now! I've always known what to do, but right now I don't!"

"That's because you're not _supposed _to know what to do all the time! If you did, there'd be nothing left to learn. You can't be in control all the time. Let someone else take care of it for once."

"You don't understand!" Her shoulders trembled with fury. "I _need_ to! Soul Society is getting restless with no new information, and my head is on the line if I don't find something. I can't sleep, I'm not getting any stronger, I'm doing nothing just sitting here, and I don't know how to _deal _with that! Do not _tell_ me to calm down! _I cannot take anymore of this!_"

A slow smile spread across Ichigo's face, but he kept his gaze fixed on her shaking, furious eyes. "You're not doing too well, are you?" He said quietly.

Her breath hitched in her throat. "No." It came out as barely a whisper.

And then his arms were around her, pulling her roughly to him, pressing her head to his shoulder, his cheek next to hers and his voice soft in her ears. "Everything is gonna be alright." He smoothed her hair out, the way he used to do when Yuzu got upset. "You idiot. Let someone else do the worrying. I'm looking after your heart, Rukia, so put a little faith in me. Everything is gonna be alright. I'll take care of it." _And you._

Rukia nodded into him and gripped his shoulders tightly, her face burning with the shame of such an outburst. She brushed a hand across her eyes and pulled back from him, glancing away awkwardly. Her gaze settled on the window, and she noted with dismay that the heart she had drawn in the fog had disappeared.

"I…I drew a heart here," she mumbled, focusing on the glass, on _anything, _to keep her mind off the fact that he had just _held _her. "But it's gone."

Ichigo stared at her for a moment. "No it's not." He leant towards the window and blew softly on it, grinning as the small heart became visible again. He drew another heart, this one rougher and a bit out of shape, so that it overlapped Rukia's.

"Your heart's not gone. You just let other things get in the way of you seeing it."

-

_**Author's Note: **__This one was done because Ichi does have a semi-intelligent/caring side to him. It's just usually very, very hidden. Yes, there are Hitchhiker's Guide and Dashboard Confessional references in there. I take no credit for them._

_Anyway, please review if you liked it! Or if you didn't. _


	11. Thumb Tacks

_**Words: **__376_

_**Rating: **__G_

_**Spoilers: **__That the SS arc exists?_

_**Author's Note: **__Can take place sometime after SS arc. This is an old idea, but a new story. I think I might actually update all 3 of my collections tonight. Shock horror! Anyway, enjoy!_

_-_

Finishing off a project for History wasn't Ichigo's ideal way to spend a Sunday afternoon, but as there had been no hollow readings, visits from Soul Society, or in fact, anything _remotely _interesting to be done, he was forced to occupy himself with menial tasks such as homework.

"Oi, Rukia, hand me one of those thumb tacks."

"Uh huh." Sprawled on his bed, feet kicking back and forth, and lazily thumbing through what suspiciously looked like the manual to Duke Nukem 3, Rukia tossed a hand in his direction.

"Did you even hear me?"

"No."

"What?" He shook his head. "That doesn't even make sense. I _asked _you to hand me a – hold on, why are you reading the instruction manual for a computer game?"

"Hm?" She finally looked up. 'Oh, it's the most interesting manga I've read all week! It combines informative diagrams, an appealing storyline, even _profiles _of the main characters, all in an easy-to-read font!"

"Idiot! That's not a manga!" He snatched it off her and stuffed it in a drawer. "Now where is that stupid thumb tack?"

"Thumb tack?" Rukia sat up, tucking her legs underneath her. "_Thumb _tack?" She tipped her head to one side quizzically. "Why would you need tack the size of a thumb?"

"Tack?" Ichigo sighed exasperatedly, dropping onto his chair and giving up all hope of getting anything done that afternoon.

Rukia waved a magazine in his face. "'The _Horseman's Gazette _gives aspiring riders all the information they need about the required equipment, or _tack, _when riding horses.' You know, bridle, saddle, all that stuff. But…"

She leapt off the bed and paced about the room, deep in thought. "Who would need tack that's the size of a thumb? What sort of horse would need it? And why would Ichigo have some in his room?"

Giving Ichigo no chance to interrupt, she continued in her hypothesizing. "Whoever needs it, they must be very small…aha!" She dove under Ichigo's bed, scrabbled around for a bit, and finally re-emerged, brandishing a DVD threateningly. "I knew it was here somewhere!" She leaned closer to Ichigo, her eyes narrowed seriously. "I've found out who needs thumb tack."

Ichigo yawned. "Who?"

Rukia drew herself up to her full, albeit unimpressive, height.

"Thumbelina!"


	12. Movies

_**Words: **762_

_**Ratings: **PG for language._

_**Spoilers: **None_

_**Author's Note: **I really wanted to write something, and I couldn't remember any of my other story ideas so I cooked this one up. Utterly pointless but hopefully still good for a laugh. As always, please review!_

_-_

"Rukia, are you trying to impersonate a bird?"

"No. I do feel like I'm flying, though." And flying she seemed to be. Partly, anyway. She was hanging out of Ichigo's window, arms outspread, swaying back and forth with a blissful smile on her face and humming something that vaguely resembled Celine Dion's _My Heart Will Go On._

"Well, get back in here. The neighbours might see you and think I know you."

Rukia, however, had launched into the chorus, and was now lurching about with renewed vigour. After an especially vigorous motion she pitched forward and fell out of the window with a squawk. Ichigo looked up, blinked, and then turned the page in his manga.

He continued to read in barely-contained delight, only half listening to the sounds of a savage creature unknown to any living man proceeding up the stairs with as much grace as a watermelon. "Ichigo!" The savage creature burst into his room. "How could you leave me, lying there, surrounded by a pool of my own blood and near death?"

Ichigo glanced up. "You look fine to me."

Rukia looked indignant. "You talkin' to me?"

"...Yes."

"Well," Rukia huffed, "go ahead, make my day."

Ichigo stared at her. "Make your day...how?" In response, Rukia pranced across the room and settled herself on Ichigo's desk. "Show me the money!"

"I don't _have _any money. Seriously, Rukia, what the hell are you talking about? It's like -"

"Say 'hello' to my little friend!" Rukia interrupted and hurled a book at Ichigo's head.

"What the _fuck_ was that all about?!" He rubbed his cheek. "You're not Al Pacino, you moron!"

Rukia stared at him, her face twsited in what she hoped was a look of utter contempt. "You can't handle the truth!" And with that scalding remark, she calmly opened a large, shiny and rather appealing book and began to read. Ichigo tilted forward and snatched the book out of her hands, glancing at the very shiny cover.

"_501 Must See Movies_..." He looked up at Rukia, his eyes blazing. "Rukia...have you been watching all these movies...all these _501 _movies?"

"No, of course not."

Ichigo's face brightened.

"I've still got 142 left."

"...I'd like to strangle you now."

Rukia gave a fierce battle cry as she leapt off the desk, kicked Ichigo in the head and dove into his closet. "Rukia! You lunatic woman, no wonder I don't have any money! _Come out of there!_"

"I want to be alone."

"Look," Ichigo sighed and rested his forehead against the cool plastic of the closet door. "I won't strangle you, promise. Now come out of the closet." When there was no answer, aside from the miserable sounds from within, he tapped gently on the door. "It's - it's okay about the movies. Really. The money's not that important, and we can always return the DVDs to the rental shop..."

Sniff. "I bought them."

Repressing a scream of rage, Ichigo bumped his head against the door. "That's fine too. Just come out of there. And anyway, your life doesn't need to revolve around movies. You're never going to be happy if you keep comparing stuff to fictional ideals."

The closet door slid open a fraction, and then a bit more, as Rukia's head peeked out. "Mr. Ichigo, you're trying to seduce me. Aren't you?"

"_What?!" _He barely stopped himself from slamming the door on that obnoxious little crackpot's head. "Are you crazy?"

"You had me at 'hello.'"

"I didn't even _say _'hello'."

"Hello, gorgeous."

"Stop it!" Ichigo thunked the _501 Must See Movies _book on Rukia's head.

Not to be deterred, Rukia continued her tirade. "I'm going to make you an offer you can't refuse. We'll always have Paris!"

"No we won't! We haven't even -" He was cut off by the bleeping of Rukia's phone. Uninterested, she sighed dismally and stuffed it back in her pocket. "Frankly, my dear," she murmured, tracing circles on the carpet, "I don't give a damn."

"I said, stop it already!" Ichigo stuffed Kon's soul candy down his throat. "Rukia, stay here, calm down and when I get back you better be normal." He paused. "Well, as normal as you can be, anyway."

She nodded solemnly. "Hasta la vista, baby!"

Ichigo growled as he leapt out the window. "Ichigo! Wait!" Rukia waved at him fervently.

"What is it now?"

Rukia thrust Kon's empty plushie body in front of her like a token of war.

"May the force be with you."


	13. Again

_**

* * *

**_

Again

_**Word Count: **__816_

_**Rating: **__G_

_**Spoilers: **__Only if you haven't seen the SS Arc (in which case, what are you doing here? Go watch Bleach)_

_**Author's Note: **__I need to make updates a regular thing. Oh well. This one seems to fit the same style as most of my recent ones. Hmm. Oh well. I need to think of something different. But for now, you just have some random…nothingness. This probably won't make much sense if you haven't seen the Sony Bravia ad with the rabbits, so if you haven't, youtube it._

--

"I like the blue one."

"Rukia, there's _lots _of blue ones."

"Then I like the one with the ears."

"They _all _have ears."

"Then I like all of them."

Ichigo sighed and heaved himself out of his chair, dropping a cushion on Rukia's head as he did. She'd only been home (did he think of it as her home now?) for a little while, but she'd already begun to exhaust him with her relentless energy for _everything._ Her latest fixation was the ad for the Sony Bravia TV with the colourful rabbits everywhere.

"I think I'm going to watch it again." Rukia declared, and pressed the rewind button on the remote.

"That's surprising," Ichigo mumbled as he went to the kitchen and hunted in the fridge for something edible. "Considering you've watched it six times already…why is there no food in this house?"

He heard the now-all-too-familiar sounds of the ad finishing from the lounge. "Rukia…maybe you should –"

"Again!" Rukia cried gallantly and jabbed at the remote.

Ichigo leaned against the doorframe and frowned at her. "If you keep rewinding the tape, we're never going to get to see the rest of _Doctor Who." _

"This is why you should get TiVo."

"What the – how do you even _know_ about TiVo?"

"Keigo-kun gave me a booklet about it. He said I could go round to his and check out his season passes."

"Of course he would have said that." Ichigo scowled. "And don't call him Keigo-kun. That's disgusting." He crossed the room and wrenched the remote from her. "Now go upstairs. My sisters will be home soon, and they'll probably have food, and I want to eat it, so go away."

"No. I want to watch it again."

"Rukia, get back in the closet."

"_No._" She glowered at him and hurled a magazine at his head. "Stop ordering me around. I can have you put away for that."

Ichigo stared at her. What was she _on _about? "Put me away _where?_"

"You're not treating me properly."

"I'm not treating you at all. Besides, I'm bigger than you." Just to prove it, he loomed over her in a very menacing sort of way. "What are you going to do about it?"

"I'm going to tell my brother."

"And what's he going to do?"

Her eyes glittered. "He's going to do something horrible…" She narrowed her eyes. "He's going to kill you! …No, you're too unimportant for that. He's going to get someone else to kill you, and then you'll realise what a fool you are."

"I won't, because I'll be dead."

"That has nothing to do with it. Dead people can still be fools." She paused. "Look at Renji."

"You got that right," Ichigo muttered and turned to go upstairs. "You'd better move soon if you don't want to have to explain yourself to my family."

"I will." Rukia settled herself on the couch again. "I'm just going to watch this a few more times, and then I'm going to finish reading chapter seven in the latest Harry Potter book."

Ichigo shook his head and walked slowly up the stairs to his room, thinking. Rukia had quickly made herself a nice little niche in the living world; with her own friends, favourite things and fairly normal daily activities. She had even started planning ahead things with her friends from school. He was glad she was settling in, but that was just it – maybe she was becoming _too _settled.

Dropping onto his bed, he rubbed his eyes. He couldn't ignore the worrying thought that someone from Soul Society would come for her again, or that Byakuya would change his mind and order her to go back. If they did, her new little world would be broken (his too, maybe) and it would all have been for nothing.

It was probably inevitable that she'd leave soon anyway. If Byakuya didn't want her with him, she'd be sent on duty somewhere else or called away on a mission.

The clamouring sounds of Rukia finishing whatever she was doing downstairs brought him back to reality. He yawned and stretched, tossing away his negative thoughts. Being pessimistic wasn't going to help anyone, and maybe he didn't need to be like that. Maybe…he should just get used to the idea that she might be staying for a while. He made a mental note to ask his father about TiVo.

His bedroom door opened slightly and Rukia's head snaked round, followed by the rest of her. She stood uncertainly in the middle of the room, staring at him and twisting the hem of her shirt.

Ichigo raised an eyebrow. "Well…?"

"If you were one of the rabbits, you'd be the big red one."

With that, she disappeared into his closet. Ichigo blinked and slowly dropped his head back on his bed, trying to figure out if that was Rukia trying to compliment him.


	14. iPod

**_iPod_**

_**Word Count: **628_

_**Rating: **PG_

_**Spoilers: **None_

_**Author's Note: **I need to do some serious ones. Give me some ideas!_

* * *

It wasn't often that Yuzu heard her brother and Rukia-chan discussing things without shouting, and it wasn't often that she heard them discussing things like _this_.

"Ichigo?"

"Hm?"

"If you wanna be my lover –"

"I don't want to be your lover."

" – You gotta get with my friends –"

"Hold on, you don't _have _any friends. I'm your only friend. How can I be your lover as well as getting with myself?"

"Renji's my friend."

"You want me to get with Renji?"

"...Yes."

Yuzu nodded to herself and hurried down the stairs. Ichi-nii sure was growing up. Her dad and Karin would surely be happy to hear about this latest development.

Ichigo yawned and dropped his head back on his pillow. "Why are you singing Spice Girls' songs anyway?"

"I bought this iPod from a catalogue, so that I could learn more classical ballads."

Ichigo glanced over at her, watching her tap on the glass of a full-size jukebox with barely-restrained delight.

"That's not an iPod, Rukia, that's a jukebox....they're from the 50s..." He closed his eyes for a moment, then opened them again and jerked upright. "What the hell!? How did you _get_ one of those? What's it doing in my room? _How did it fit through the door!?"_

Rukia knelt before it and followed the neon lights carefully. "It didn't. Look, Ichigo, it glows!"

She played with more of the buttons, grinning when she realised that as they were pressed, each one made a particular sound, with some higher than others. She worked out the pattern quickly. Ichigo groaned when a slow, clunky version of 'Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star' reached his ears.

"See? I know your pop songs too."

"That's a nursery rhyme...and besides – _don't play that song!_" He screeched when she selected LeAnn Rimes. Rukia sang along loudly. "You can try to resist, try to hide from my kiss, but you know, but you know that you can't fight the moonlight! Noooooo!"

Ichigo leapt off the bed and dove at Rukia, scrabbling for the power plug. "Turn that off now before I smash your little head into it!"

"I'm not turning it off, it's a classic!" She shoved her elbow back into his nose.

"Turn it off!"

"No!"

He hooked one arm underneath her shoulders and hauled her off the ground, the other arm still flailing wildly for an off switch. Rukia's legs thrashed about in an attempt to land a hit on any exposed body parts. "I want to sing, I'm going to _sing!_" She launched into the next chorus.

"Stop it!" He trapped her legs with one of his, pinned her arms above her head, and was about to try and poke her eyes out when he caught sight of his father and sisters standing in the open doorway to his room.

"Well..." Isshin finally managed to choke out, still mildly stunned at the sight of them in a twisted sort of embrace, with Rukia serenading him at the top of her lungs.

Realisation dawned. Ichigo shrieked and pushed Rukia away from him. "It's not what it – we were just –"

Rukia, oblivious as always, sniffed and smoothed out her dress. "That's what you get for trying to force me."

"Don't say that! They'll just think even worse things!"

Isshin clapped his son on the shoulder. "Ah, my boy, you've done so well! But," he drew Ichigo over to a corner, "there's no need to force the girl. I can teach you some things that your mother found quite –"

He was cut off by Ichigo shrieking again and running from his room.

Rukia blinked, listening to the sounds of him thundering down the stairs. "What a shame. I wanted to play 'Come What May' next. We could have done a duet."

* * *

**_Please review! _**


	15. Dating

_**Dating**_

_**Word Count:** 1,119_

_**Rating:** G_

_**Spoilers:** None_

_**Author's Note:** Another update already? This is a new trend...it won't last. Anyway, if you read this, please review! It helps me to improve, and I need to know that people enjoy reading these._

* * *

"Ichigo?" Rukia's muffled voice came from the other side of his bedroom door, before she nudged it open with her forehead and entered, cradling two cans of coke and at least seven packets of calorie-laden food in her arms. "We need," – she attempted to shut the door with her foot without spilling her cargo – "to have a talk."

Ichigo snatched a packet of Maltesers from the air as it came hurtling towards his head, and relieved Rukia of some of her snacks. He eyed her troubled face and the Cameo Crèmes warily. "What did you do?"

Rukia settled herself opposite him on the floor. "Nothing."

"Who did you hurt?"

"_Nobody._"

He changed tactic. "Are _you _hurt?"

"No. I just need to talk to you."

Oh, no. This looked like another apologetic last moment before Byakuya whisked her away somewhere. Or maybe she was planning a last meal for him before she took away his Shinigami powers, killed his family and wiped his memory. "About...what?"

Rukia twisted the hem of her dress. "Well...we're friends, aren't we? You know...you fight, I fight. You hurt, I hurt. You cry, I cry. You jump off a bridge, I get a paddle boat and save your retarded butt..."

"The only reason I'd be jumping off a bridge is if you were standing behind me and advancing. And I don't cry." He rubbed his temples. "Just get to the point."

"If you're sure..." Rukia frowned. "We trust each other, right?"

That was unexpected. "...Yes."

"And we can be open with each other, about...feelings?"

Not looking good. "...Yes." Ichigo took a long sip of his coke.

"Do you think it's okay if I have a relationship with a human?"

Ichigo's coke somehow managed to find its way to the opposite wall of his room.

He spluttered and wiped his sleeve across his mouth. "What – what – what do you mean a _relationship? _What sort of relationship? You mean a friend, relationship, thing?"

"No, I mean a proper one. With dates and intimacy and couple names...why are you awkward laughing?"

"Ha ha ha ha...hah. I'm not awkward laughing." He cleared his throat and tried to stop his face from burning. "Uh, what does it have to do with me, anyway?" He kept his eyes on the ceiling.

Rukia laughed. "Well, obviously, it has everything to do with you. I mean, we can't go there if you're not okay with it."

Breathing. That's what dogs and people and things did to cool down. In through the nose, out through the mouth.

Rukia was still warbling on. "...Once I get the go-ahead from you, we'll get right to it. I've got it all planned out. First dates, going steady, meeting friends and family..."

Ichigo forgot to breathe.

Panic surged inside him, and to combat it he shovelled liquorice sticks into his mouth at an alarming rate. "Uh, don't you think, I mean – shouldn't you slow down?" He stammered, now quite certain his face couldn't get any redder. "Take things easy, movies or something or talking or things but going steady, where is the rush Rukia _I_ _said where is the rush!?_" He hadn't meant to end up screaming in the end, but it just sort of...came out.

"Lower you voice, Ichigo. There's no need to shout. Anyway, it doesn't matter what you think. This is one time where I'm going to be in control, not you."

Ichigo missed that peculiar little note. "Um...I...know we're close..." He fumbled with the tab on his coke can. "I just didn't think...you know..."

"I thought you'd be happy. I thought this is what you wanted."

Ichigo shrieked before he could stop himself. "_What I wanted!?_"

"To integrate, into the living world."

"Integrate! This is serious, Rukia! This isn't racial campaigning in the 60s!"

"Racial equality _is_ a serious issue."

"You're changing the subject! How can you be so calm, at a time like – like _this_?"

"You're right. Back on track." She pulled a crumpled piece of paper from her pocket and straightened it. "I've got a few couple names here. What one do you think is best?"

Ichigo smothered another scream and instead tore at his hair. This couldn't be happening! He could see his future stretching out before him, marked by little love hearts and circles on his calendar and a 'plus one' addition to invitations.

"Ruvin, Joekia, or Rukick?"

...Wait...what? That wasn't right...

"...I suppose it's an awful way to choose, but otherwise it's too difficult. At least after the marriage my name will be the same whatever one..."

_What?_

"Rukia..." Ichigo slowly hissed through his teeth, "What are you talking about?"

"Have you not been listening? I'm talking about which one of the Jonas Brothers I'm going to end up marrying."

"_What!?"_

Trauma at the idea of her as a fangirl aside, Ichigo almost fell over with glee.

"I mean, I like all of them, so it's difficult to choose which one. Kevin's so sexy, and Nick does a really good Blue Steel look, and that thing Joe does with the microphone stand...you know, we watched the concert the other night...I don't suppose I could take turns?"

"You were talking about – them, not –"

"Of course I was talking about them. I thought I made that quite clear. Who did you _think_ I was talking..." Her face blanched. "That's disgusting!" She chucked a handful of Jaffas at his head. "I don't want to marry you, or date you; I don't even like you...wait." She threw another handful. "You weirdo! Why were you so relaxed about it? You didn't seem freaked out or worried – ugh! You wanted to go out with me in the first place!"

"No I didn't! And I wasn't relaxed; I was just hiding my inner turbulence. What do you mean you don't even like me?"

"What sort of phrase is 'inner turbulence'?"

Ichigo sighed and let a smile spread over his face. He heaved himself onto his bed and stretched out. Balance was restored.

"_Do _you want to date me?"

"No."

"Good." Rukia looked satisfied, and set about recreating the Taj Mahal with marshmallows. She paused and looked up at him. "You know what?"

He rolled to face her. "What?"

"You're not that bad. I'd date you."

Ichigo reached for more liquorice sticks.

"Except I'm saving myself for JB."

* * *

**_Please review!_**


	16. Afternoon Delight

_**Afternoon Delight**_

_**Word Count: **_2,048

_**Rating: **_T for language and themes

_**Spoilers: **_None

_**Author's Note: **_It's a little bit shit, but I am super frustrated with stuff at the moment so what else to do but write! Mainly I'm just frustrated because I can't get FFVII to run on Windows 7, my sister has gone to travel the world and I am envious, and I made flashcards for one of my papers and they quite rightly suck. Oh yes, I am at university now. Very excite! So, er, please review or whatever, yada yada yada, tell me how to work FVII, I will love you forever, all that stuff.

* * *

"I made you something."

"Oh." Ichigo stretched out further on the couch and didn't turn around, his mind already ticking over the possibilities and weighing up the risks. He'd heard her doing _something _in there, and by the sounds of it, it could've been anything from a bit of DIY cabinet-making to gastric bypass surgery on an unanaesthetised woodpigeon who was also suffering from a severe case of the runs.

Rukia narrowed her eyes at him. "Don't you want to come see it?"

"That depends."

"On _what_?"

"On what it is. Is it purple?"

"Why would it be purple?" She said irritably, and folded her arms. "I'm not playing this game with you, Ichigo. Just come and see it."

"It's not a game." He turned the page of his English textbook. "It's what'll determine if I want it. Does it have sparkles on it?"

"You should want it! It's a gift!" She glared at him and briefly considered getting the power drill back out. "And I hate sparkles."

"You didn't hate them the time you bedazzled my schoolbooks with them."

"What sort of man uses the word 'bedazzled'!? Just come and see!"

"If I poked it, would it bite me?"

"Shut up, idiot! Why won't you come!? I _made _you something! You're supposedly to be fiendishly delighted and leap to see what it is in your gratitude!"

Ichigo snorted. "I think you've got your adjectives confused."

She gnashed her teeth at him and pointed wildly at the kitchen, and he finally glanced back at her. "Are you having a stroke?" He muttered, and turned back around. She let out a warbled squawk.

"No, you're not." He answered for her. "You're transforming into a pterodactyl." He smiled, quite pleased with himself for being so gentle and having such a clever sense of humour that day. Another afternoon and he would've kicked her out of the house by then.

_"Just come!"_ She shrieked, close to tears.

"Uh, shit, Rukia!" Ichigo rolled off the couch and stopped uncertainly in front of her. "Don't cry!"

_"I'm not crying!" _She bellowed, and kicked him forcefully in the kneecap. He yelped in pain. _"Let's go see it then!" _He screamed back in her face. She shoved him forcefully toward the kitchen and stomped after him. He was sure, just as he got to the doorway, that he heard a quiet, maniacal chuckle from behind him.

There, sitting on the bench in all its iced and slightly lopsided glory, was something that he guessed was supposed to be a cake. A mixture of surprise, fear and abhorrence caused his face to twist in disgust and he leaned back from it.

"Eat it!" Rukia commanded, and pointed at the thing.

"Uh..." Ichigo watched in horror as she carried the monstrosity to the table and set it down. She placed a knife and a fork beside it and shoved him into a chair.

"You made me...a cake..." He eyed it with repulsion. "It is a cake, right?"

"Of course it is, you fool! Don't look so worried. It came in a box. I just added butter and stuff." Rukia did little to hide her delight at the endeavour she had undertaken, and seemed quite (and inexplicably) proud of it.

"It's the 'and stuff' that I'm worried about."

"Stop being silly and eat it!"

"It's moving."

"No it's not." Rukia gave it a hearty whack. Bits of goo splattered all over him, the table and anything else in the firing line. He grimaced and wiped the mush off his face. "...I don't think it's cooked properly."

His reluctance to eat it was beginning to take its toll on Rukia's fragile mentality. Her eyebrow twitched and she began to look crazy again.

"Just...eat...it..." She whispered dangerously, and Ichigo noticed the close proximity of her hand to the knife. "Uh, sure!" He said brightly. "Hey, is there someone at the door? I heard a knock."

Rukia frowned. "I didn't," she wondered, but left the room to check anyway. In the seconds that she was gone, Ichigo leapt out of his chair and flung the thing out of the window, then slid back into his seat and smeared some of the lardish goop over his fork.

"There wasn't anyone there. Oh, _Ichigo!_" She gasped, and it seemed to his already terrorised mind that his name had been spoken in the way that one might speak a lover's name. He let out a strangled squeak.

"You ate it _all!_" Thrilled, Rukia clasped her hands to her chest and beamed at him. "You must have been hungry! Was it good? I wasn't sure if I mixed it enough. Was there enough yeast?"

"You put yeast in a cake..." He muttered, and dropped his head onto the back of his chair. "Yeah. It was...good."

"Excellent! Because there's lots more where that came from!"

_"What!?"_

"I said there's lots more where that came from." She danced to the fridge and heaved out another deformed lump. "There was a clearance at the supermarket. I bought seven for the price of four! What a bargain!"

_"Seven!?" _He squawked, and shot bolt upright. "You made _seven_ of those disgusting things? What the hell for?"

"I was feeling homely. And you'll have to eat them now else they'll go off. Wait..." Her eyes glittered darkly and she gripped the tray with an iron...grip. Or steel. Or titanium. Or diamond-encrusted kryptonite. Basically, it was a very strong grip. _"Disgusting?"_

"Yes, disgusting! You think I would actually _like _this shit? And it's _already _gone off! I don't know how the hell you did it but that thing was growing something!"

_"Idiot!"_ She screeched, and hurled the second cake at him. It landed with a gloopy thud on his chest and began to slide down his t-shirt, leaving trails of slime in its wake. "You psycho!" He yelled, and tried in vain to wipe it off. "Don't get mad at me because you can't bake a cake!"

"I will! They were made with my blood, sweat and tears!"

"I fucking hope not!"

Opening the fridge again, she yanked out two more cakes and, balancing one in each hand (lord knows how she managed that), hoisted them above her head. "Don't move, Ichigo," she warned, but before she could loose the cake-bombs upon him he summoned his Jet Li powers and shoved the dinner table across the floor and into her.

She let out a shriek of pain. "My ovaries!" Thankfully, she also dropped her weapons.

Ichigo paused mid-stride in his escape dash. "Did I actually hurt you?"

"I'm getting the power drill!"

"Guess not." He sprinted for the stairs as Rukia armed herself with the power drill and another cake and took off after him.

"Get back here, fool!"

"Why do people say that? Why would I go back to someone who's chasing me?"

"I'm only chasing you because you're running away!"

"You're holding a _power drill!"_

"And I'm going to drill your eyes out with it! And then I'll make you eat my cake!"

"The cake would be worse, trust me!" He was just about to take the top stair when his foot, covered in goo, slipped on the carpet and he felt himself falling backwards. "Catch me!" He shrieked to Rukia at the bottom of the stairs, in a far too girlish voice for his own liking. "Piss off!" She yelled, and flung her power drill at his back in an attempt to stop him.

Unfortunately, it bounced back off him and flew gracefully through the air until it collided with a clamorous smack with her forehead. She yelped and dropped like a stone, just as Ichigo, who was still flailing wildly for something to grab hold of, tumbled down the last step and landed in a heap on top of her, the cake, and the power drill, which missed his left earlobe by about an inch.

Grimacing, he opened his eyes and blinked slowly. He heard and felt Rukia mumbling beneath him, and started to laugh. Partly because the whole damned situation was actually rather funny, partly because he hoped she'd laugh too and forget about hurting him, and partly because he just thought he was going a little bit mental.

"You can laugh," Rukia hissed, and shoved at his shoulder, "you're not the one being crushed by a giant ginger moron."

He laughed again, grunted, and rolled himself off her to sprawl on the floor. He pushed a piece of cake mush out of his hair.

"That's not going to do a lot," she smiled, and swiped at her own mess. She folded her arms behind her head and looked away from him. "I didn't make them bad on purpose, you know," she said softly.

"Yeah, I know." He sat up suddenly and tilted his head to the side. "Hey...why did you make them?"

"It's like I said," she rolled onto her side. "I felt homely."

"And by homely you mean?"

"I wanted to do things around the home."

Ichigo grinned. "Don't go all housewife on me. Next thing you'll want is kids."

"I am getting on a bit," she sighed, and slowly swung herself into a sitting position.

"Like hell you are!"

"I just mean by our standards. Women are married young and...well, whatever. You should clean this up before you father gets home."

"What do you mean, 'you'?" He grumbled and got to his feet. "It's because of your stupid food that this place is a mess." He offered her his hand. She twisted her head up to glare at him, but her face softened when she saw his outstretched hand. She smiled and took it. "But," she said as he pulled her up and steadied her, "my head hurts. Your back did aim a power drill at me."

"You threw it at me first!"

"Inconsequential."

"Oi, Rukia," Ichigo said as they walked back to the kitchen, "there's still cakes left."

"Mm. Your father will probably eat them."

"I have a better idea." He opened the fridge, took out one of the monsters, and promptly dropped it on her head.

"Hey!" She yelled angrily, and wiped it from her eyes. "That was uncalled for!"

"So was you trying to poison me with those things."

Rukia scowled and took the last cake from the fridge. She pulled a stringy, sticky hunk off and threw it in his face.

"You little - "

"Son of mine!" They heard the front door open and Isshin lumber through it. "Ah, my boy, I see you have been having a party without me! But where is all the booze?" He came into the kitchen. "Where are all the ladies? Rukia-chan!" He stopped when he saw them, both poised to mash more cake into each other. "Ohohoho, Ichigo! I see you and our dear Rukia-chan have been exploring your sexuality!"

_"What!?" _Ichigo yelped, and flung his last bit of gunk at his father. "That is _not _what we have been doing. She made me a cake!"

"It's called sploshing, if I remember! Been around for years! I'm sure - "

"Shut _up, _Dad!"

"...I think there's a magazine around here somewhere with an article you two may find useful."

"Ah, Kurosaki-san," Rukia smiled uncomfortably and tugged at her hair, "please excuse me. I think I may need to shower."

"What a wonderful idea! You two go clean each other up. Father will clean the house!"

_"That's not what she meant!"_

Rukia gave a flustered apology and darted out of the room and up the stairs. "After her, my son! Thou must not let the lioness escape!"

"I said shut up!" Ichigo kicked him in the gut as he stomped past him. "I'm going to my room."

"Go and get some action!"

"How am I supposed to get any action when you freak out all the girls I bring home!?" He yelled in frustration and stalked past Karin, who was standing in the doorway regarding him with a bored expression.

"You don't _bring _any girls home."

"If I did!"

Karin rolled her eyes at him and wandered into the kitchen. "Ichi-nii needs to destress."

"Ah, Karin-chan!" Isshin pulled her into his arms and squeezed her tightly. "I think this afternoon's activities have already done that!"

"Get off, retard."

* * *

Thanks for reading all the way! Please do review. And if you want to give me inspiration to update my chapter story please do so too! I fail at updating, don't I? More than that, I fail at writing anything serious-toned that is actually worth reading. And making flashcards. Basically I just fail at life. xD


	17. Tangent

_**Tangent**_

_**Word Count: **__1,200_

_**Rating: **__PG_

_**Spoilers: **__None_

_**Author's Note: **__Well, er…at least I've updated once more this year? Ehehe. Well, this prompt was a looong time coming, and it's rather pointless and rambly. But, it might make you smile. At least. Thanks for reading!_

* * *

"Ichigo," Rukia strode purposefully into his room and placed a bright red bucket purposefully on the floor. She looked at him imperiously. And purposefully. "What," she said slowly, "is _this?_"

He tipped his head backwards to look at her, the bucket, and her over wide eyes that told him she was either high or trying to look mysterious. He wasn't aware when she'd started forgetting the names of household objects. Actually, he wasn't too sure if she knew them in the first place. "Rukia…have you lost it?"

"No, I just put it on the floor."

He groaned and swung his chair to face her. He should've known he couldn't have one day without Rukia being…Rukia. "I think you've lost a few too many of your marbles."

"I don't own any marbles. You do; but you own less now that I swapped some for a Mars bar."

"I wondered where they went! " He glowered at her. "Why were you so hungry that you had to trade marbles for chocolate?"

"I wasn't hungry. I fed the Mars bar to a duck. You still play with marbles? For God's sake, Ichigo, you're twelve, not eight. Now answer my question!"

"I'm not twelve, you senile moron! Wait…a duck!" God, she really had lost it.

"Yes. A duck."

"What sort of duck?"

"Does it matter?"

"I don't suppose so."

"One that quacks. Now answer my question, Ichigo! Or I shall be forced to take extreme measures!"

"What level of extreme measures are we talking here? Mafia level with concrete slippers or substitute teacher level with a social studies quiz?"

She paused and considered the options. "Well, I don't like substitute teachers, but I don't think concrete slippers would be very comfortable. I like the fluffy ones shaped like little rabbits. You know, they've got the little ears…"

"They're not supposed to be comfortable. They're supposed to drag you to the bottom of the harbour. And yes, I know the ones. I bought you some for your birthday and you got blood on them."

"Goodness, Ichigo!" Rukia clutched at her heart. "I wouldn't _drown _you! Where would I get the concrete from?"

"I think you have your priorities messed up."

"Au contraire, it is _you _who have your priorities messed up! You still haven't answered my question!"

"What question?"

She looked smug again and paused for effect before she spoke. "What…is…it?"

"I don't know; it's your question."

"THIS!" She bellowed like a madman, and shook the bucket in his face. "What is THIS!"

"It's a bucket."

"Aha!" She cried triumphantly and did a little jig. "Like honey to a bee you have fallen into my trap!"

"Am I the honey or am I the bee? Is the bucket the bee? If you're trying to allude that bees are attracted to honey and so you have used the proverbial honey to lure me into you proverbial stupid trap, you're wrong. Bees make honey. They're attracted to pollen."

"How the hell would I know? I just heard it in a Billie Piper song."

He closed his eyes and breathed deeply. "Kill me now. Rukia, is there a point to this? What's your trap?"

"Well, it won't sound good now. You'll have to say it again."

"Say what?"

"What this is."

"A bucket…"

Her eyes flashed in smug delight. _"OR IS IT!"_ She crowed with as much enthusiasm as someone who had just spoken the most important sentence of their life and believed they had done very well with it.

"Yes."

"But how do you _know?_" She insisted with another attempt at an air of mysticism. "How do you know this is merely a bucket?"

"Because it _is _a bucket."

"But is that all it is!" She threw her arms out wide in a dramatic gesture and unintentionally flung the bucket into his bedroom wall, where it plopped onto his bed with a soft thud. Rukia's eyes flicked to it. "Ah. One moment." She retrieved her bucket and returned to her place in front of Ichigo. "Where were we? Oh yes. Is this just a bucket?"

"What else could it be? It doesn't even have anything in it."

"Nothing in it, he says!" She clasped her hands and the bucket to her chest. "Did Prince William's heart have nothing in it when he proposed to Kate? Did the Grand Canyon have nothing in it when that guy in the canoe explored it? Ichigo, this bucket is hardly empty. It holds air and hope and potential and a space for things to be put! Why, this bucket is full to the brim with copious amounts of possibility!"

"It probably had rocks and leaves and stuff in it…You've been reading self help books again, haven't you? And could you not use the word copious? I don't like it."

"No I haven't. Well, yes." She sat on his floor and folded her legs underneath her, peering into the bucket as if expecting something to happen. "But all that told me was that 'confidence is going after Moby Dick in a rowboat and taking the tartare sauce with you'."

"Not your usual self help mantra."

"I know. I didn't even want any help anyway. I was looking for books on manta ray conservation." She paused and looked up from the bucket. "Is Moby Dick a manta ray?"

"No. Can we get to the point of the bucket?"

"The point, Ichigo, is that you need to stop taking things at face value –"

"I don't need a lecture."

"I WASN'T FINISHED." She smacked his knee with the bucket. "Don't assume this bucket is empty because you think there's nothing in it to see. Cast away your preconceptions and look with your heart!"

Oh god, the crazy was back. He wished they could go back to talking about mantas. "What the hell are you on about, Rukia?"

She rose to her knees and leaned towards him, banging the bucket on his legs for good measure. "I'm saying that just because there's no physical sign of something doesn't mean that something isn't what you think it could be! Feel with your heart and trust your instincts to know if something's there! It doesn't mean that something isn't as strong or as real as anything else in this world or the next!"

"Rukia…" Ichigo muttered, and leaned back in his chair away from her. He thought he might vomit a little. "Are you trying to tell me you're in love with me?"

She looked steadily at him for a few moments, and when she spoke her voice was as soft as his. "I'm reciting a philosophy essay. I thought it would make a useful lecture on spirit detection."

He stared back at her for a while without blinking, _really _wishing they could go back to talking about mantas, until she swiftly stood up, jammed the bucket on his head and kicked him off his chair. "You creep!" She shouted, and thunked the bucket-helmet. "Where the hell did you get that idea?" She crossed the room and yanked open his door.

"God, Ichigo!" She yelled as she stalked into the hallway, loud enough for his entire family and a few patients to hear, "stop fantasizing about me!"


End file.
